Stop falling for fantasies

In a world where you are continuously being sold to, how do we make a difference between what is real and what is pure marketing?

The other I overheard a conversation between some co-workers and I couldn't contain my surprise to hear the words coming out of their mouths. They are all gorgeous, powerful, career-driven women who refuse to find themselves in relationship because they are constantly waiting for more. 

The other day Carrie was telling me how she met this great guy, who treats her really nice, always really careful with what he says but she's not really feeling it. Feeling it?

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She is not even the first example, one of my good friends Bonnie is literally desperate to find a good husband as she feels like her good years are coming to and end but she comes back relatively disappointed after dates, mostly claiming the guy is not what she expected him to be. Here is where I got confused.

Carrie and Big do not exist in real life neither do Romeo and Juliet. All of these deep, meaningful relationships that we read about or watch on TV are just as real as the world of Harry Potter. Just different type of magic - that is all.

We are all flawed and so are we supposed to be so stop waiting for the perfect man because he does not exist. Relationships are a multitude of compromises and when both people invest time and feelings so they have a positive way of living.

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely not suggesting to settle down for somebody who is far less than what you deserve, of course not, however maybe those tiny little qualities that you would hope they have are not as important as the general universally crucial ones like: being faithful, being independent, being willing to commit and having no emotional baggage. Perhaps in the world of technology, of Apps that would get you naked without needing to be intimate in any way, maybe we should not overlook what really important and just accept and fall for people who are truthfully interested as oppose to be addicted to the chase.

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This article is for all of the Carries and the Bonnies out there waiting for their Prince Charming to swipe them off their feet and ride with them into sunset. 

We tend to so often fall in love with the idea of somebody that we completely forget to look at him/her as a human being. We let ourselves get carried away by small gestures they make and often refuse to see the flaws that are right in front of our eyes and this is how we end up in wrong relationships, wrong marriages and how people get hurt. 

The perfect human is yet to be discovered so the key to a successful relationship these days is to just open your eye and be objective in your process of getting to know somebody. Don't tell yourself you are going to die alone, therefore some minor flaws are to be disregarded but don't be too picky on small details and blinded towards real qualities of the person standing before you. Look at the person as a whole, good and bad, beautiful and not so beautiful and then balance everything. Make a decision depending on what is important to you, not to your mother, not to your family or to your friends and above everything, not on what society says you should like. 

In a world where we have so many options, is it so rare to find somebody actually worth while and it's just as easy to be drawn to the wrong person. When you find that special connection, just make sure it is real before you plan for the future, before you get yourself into situation harder to get out of or even before you invest time, feelings and hopes into what is just an idealistic picture, as when we finally stop ruining is when the magic truly commences. 

Just a thought,

Love,

Emma.